Full Circle and Finding Myself Once Again…maybe… (by aquiring a disease)

Well, due to a last mintue unusual circumstance of helping a friend of my wifes out (Hello Katie – if you read this) I’ve aquired a disease.

No not like THAT!

I’m slowly, but ever so surely, heading back into the twisted obsessive and yet incredible  and amazing world of theater.

Off to be an actor again (although I always have considered myself one even when I wasn’t).

And I’m still editing my novel.

If I’d only play less playstation, I’d really get shit done!

My Favorite Song

Wilderness by Stuart Garrard of Delirious

We’re so nervous for your glory
Please guide our steps
We tread in awe and wonder
We can feel your holiness
We’re letting go of what’s gone before
And look to what’s ahead
But we don’t go out in haste O Lord
We want to be your friends

Lord lead us through the wilderness
We trust that you’ll provide
Be our cloud by day and our fire by night
And when we reach the other side
We’ll look back and all we’ll see
Is your goodness

It really feels so different now
The air is clear, our hearts are right
Come and walk among us now
So we can breathe the breath of life
We know the truth and it has set us free
We hear your voice and recognise your words
And in your book we read of how it can be
So we’ll tell others how you paid the price

I Am Woven (warning: language ahead)

I am a woven piece of cloth

I am connected with other cloth

But I am fucked

FUCKED

I’ve been torn away

I am frayed

And I fear

I fear that I will continue to fray until there is nothing left

Working from the outward to the innermost part of my soul

But I can fake it

I pretend I am woven tight

But look close

Look close at me

Look into my soul

And you’ll see it

You’ll see the frayed edges

Slowly

Ever so slowly giving away

Strands of thread that had been sealed tight, at home

Now homeless

I am being torn apart and I don’t know when it will stop

Can Jesus stop it and weave me new now?

or…

OR…

(I wait)

OR!

Am I too stubborn

Or is it some cosmic plan for him defray me?

COMPLETELY

From a woven cloth to a jumbled knotted mess of string

Unrepairable

Unable to untangle

Where God can weave me anew

New thread

New purpose

New life

Is there too much of my past that is so tangled I cannot be repaired

That I cannot be healed….

ONLY RESSURECTED

Where death is my only option?

I fear

I am afraid

I am alone

Look into my fuckin’ soul and see the frays

Then pray for me

Pray I don’t stay unraveled

I STILL BELIEVE