I Am Woven (warning: language ahead)

I am a woven piece of cloth

I am connected with other cloth

But I am fucked

FUCKED

I’ve been torn away

I am frayed

And I fear

I fear that I will continue to fray until there is nothing left

Working from the outward to the innermost part of my soul

But I can fake it

I pretend I am woven tight

But look close

Look close at me

Look into my soul

And you’ll see it

You’ll see the frayed edges

Slowly

Ever so slowly giving away

Strands of thread that had been sealed tight, at home

Now homeless

I am being torn apart and I don’t know when it will stop

Can Jesus stop it and weave me new now?

or…

OR…

(I wait)

OR!

Am I too stubborn

Or is it some cosmic plan for him defray me?

COMPLETELY

From a woven cloth to a jumbled knotted mess of string

Unrepairable

Unable to untangle

Where God can weave me anew

New thread

New purpose

New life

Is there too much of my past that is so tangled I cannot be repaired

That I cannot be healed….

ONLY RESSURECTED

Where death is my only option?

I fear

I am afraid

I am alone

Look into my fuckin’ soul and see the frays

Then pray for me

Pray I don’t stay unraveled

I STILL BELIEVE